I must be crazy– or financially ruined!

I have decided, as I previously blogged, that I’m taking this time since the breakup to get myself healthy both physically and emotionally.  It is certainly quite the effort since I have let myself go for so long.  I have become attached to so many bad habits that I am struggling to figure out where to even begin.  Some days, I wake up so utterly exhausted I can barely drag myself out of bed by the fifth round of the snooze button.  Other days, I wake up so ready to start my day with an awesome workout on Tread followed by an awesome high protein breakfast or delicious fruit/veggie juice combination.

I suppose this is better than even just three months ago.  I was sleeping no more than an hour or two a night.  I was smoking approximately a pack of cigarettes a day.  I ate junk food for breakfast– usually some packaged goody I picked up at the local convenience store–if I ate breakfast at all.  I would start my day with a diet soda and a smoke.  I absolutely did not exercise.  I was a walking disaster.  I fell asleep randomly throughout the day.  I felt narcoleptic.  I felt nothing short of completely out of control.  As awful as it sounds, and absolutely is, there were days I wished I would not wake up.

No one should every feel like that.  Ever.

One of the things the ex-boyfriend and I had agreed to do together was get healthy.  While that obviously fell through, I remain determined to make it happen.  I do, after all, have three amazing little people for which to care!  So, I push myself to get out of bed in the morning and get the kids off to school.  I push myself to get on the treadmill.  I make myself eat or juice.  I work.  I pick up the children and begin the nightly routine of getting things ready for the next morning, taking care of the pups, getting the kids to bed, and then getting on the treadmill again.  It is a battle of willpower, and unfortunately, willpower is not always the victor.  I can say, though, that my desire to finally get rid of this excess weight and the medical complications that have surfaced because of it is getting stronger by the day.

It better be, or else I will never be ready to run that 5K in June!!  AAACK!

But, see, I have an issue with this whole health kick thing.  How the heck is a single mother with a not-so-financially-sufficient job supposed to afford it?!?  I received a letter from the insurance company– apparently Diabetic education is NOT a covered service.  I suppose I should be thrilled that they only let me go two times before informing me they weren’t going to be paying for any of it.  Uggh.  And this healthy eating crap?  Yeah.  About that….

There’s kale, spinach, red cabbage, white cabbage, celery, cucumbers, ginger, mint, carrots, oranges, mangoes, strawberries, pears, red apples, green apples, pineapple, bananas, spaghetti squash, grapefruit, grapes, kiwi, cauliflower, green/red/yellow peppers, lemons and limes.   This trip to the grocery store produce section cost me a pretty $130.  Not sure what the kids will be eating…. 😉  Actually, the kids are loving being able to make juice concoctions!  So far, their favorites are straight grape, kiwi/strawberry, and carrot/pear/apple/cucumber.

I am looking forward to the farmers markets where I can purchase all these yummy fruits and veggies.  It makes me happy to stroll through all of the booths and support local farmers rather than the big name grocery stores.  I’d actually like to start a community garden where we all work together to produce a bountiful harvest.  Not only would it provide me with home-grown sustenance, but it would provide a much-needed boost of neighborly interaction.

Has anyone tried this before??  I don’t just mean the community garden idea– but the life transformation from unhealthy and icky to healthy and hot!  I’d love to hear from everyone what they did and what sparked their decisions…